Some notes on drinking

"Nibby" (nibby68) 01/07/2016 at 22:48 • Filed to: None

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First things first, some of you know I don’t drink. At all. Ever. I won’t; I refuse.

I’m not completely against drinking. If you and I are out for dinner and you enjoy a beer or glass of wine, that’s fine. I have issues with the notion of drinking to get drunk. I might sound a bit prude in this post, but it is definitely something I feel strongly about.

I don’t have issues going to bars or whatever. But I do think it’s incredibly juvenile and immature when I have had to help drunk friends get home safely or prevent them from walking onto oncoming traffic in NYC etc.

I think it’s just a bad and unhealthy way of dealing with stress... or celebrating a special event/achievement. If you need alcohol to have fun/fit in/make friends/feel better about yourself, that seems very shallow.

I’ve lost a couple of classmates and friends due to drunk driving accidents (one was in middle school, she was a great student and well-liked by many. She was also a good athlete and a very nice, humble person. A drunk driver hit the vehicle she was in, passenger side. The other was a close friend of my sister’s who was killed in a similar scenario).

My Dad’s a doctor and he tells me the saddest things (other than ill children) he witnesses at his hospital are the patients who suffer from alcohol-related diseases and problems. He says “I have seen far too many lives, and not just at work, ruined due to excessive alcohol.”

There have been many instances during undergrad and grad where I would be at social events with professors, classmates... and the only thing they cared about was wine and drinking. Another frustrating thing is that I can’t tell you how many times people have cancelled on me for plans cause they said they were too hungover.

In my experiences, no one has ever pressured me to drink and people accept my decision not to drink alcohol. Part of that I think is also cause I don’t usually hang out frequently with people my own age (mid-20s) who drink excessively. It’s incredibly boring to watch drunk people act the way they do. One of my closest childhood friends (who also doesn’t drink) went to a different undergrad than I did (but one of our high school friends went with him to the same university). He told me that our mutual friend would invite him to crazy parties and he eventually stopped going not just cause he was disgusted seeing young adults act that way but also seeing someone he grew up with act like that. He ended up cutting off with that person. But he told me the final straw really was when he went to a bathroom and he saw a passed out girl in there. He woke her up and took her back to her place to ensure no one would take advantage of her. I’ve never heard of him being so disgusted ever before.

It’s also strange how we have “NO UNDERAGE DRINKING” laws and warning labels, but when you watch TV, surf the internet, watch sports, etc. There are alcohol ads EVERYWHERE. It’s so ingrained into our society (and not just American, excessive drinking is a problem in MANY foreign countries and even Middle Eastern ones. There are plenty of parents I know who I think are completely hypocritical cause they are teaching their kids about the dangers of drinking but on weekends the parents go partying with their friends). Kids see alcohol everywhere, unfortunately. And college culture embraces drinking heavily and such.

So, I was wondering what Oppo thinks about this... what have your experiences been like involving alcohol and how has it affected you, your loved ones, and your family?

PS - If Benjamin Rolland could chime in about his experiences both before and after he quit drinking, that would be wonderful!

Stay safe everyone!

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 22:57

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Having chronic alcoholism in ones family is also a good excuse not to drink, I’m hopefully breaking the chain.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 22:58

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My brother is an alcoholic.

My uncle was an alcoholic that kept getting arrested for DUI. He eventually killed someone in an accident while drunk on a suspended license and spent years in prison (I remember visiting him as a child). He didn’t live to be very old, either, though that did wake him up and he never drank again.

I avoid the stuff. I will drink small amounts socially, but I don’t really like it. It’s pointless to make an otherwise tasty drink less tasty with an antimicrobial agent when we don’t need to worry about such things anymore. I have also never tried beer and probably never will.

My question is: Why some people have to numb themselves to reality? Is life truly that terrible? Can you not have fun when you’re simply yourself?

CB > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 22:58

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I don’t normally drink. Usually it’s sharing a bottle of scotch and shooting the shit with friends, which happens maybe three times a year. I try to save it for around my birthday. And if scotch comes with haggis, I won’t say no.

I’ve accepted that people are going to drink, and I’m cool with it if they don’t do it too often. However, I’ve seen a lot of lives ruined by alcohol. My mum is currently divorcing my step-dad due to his alcoholism (he would drink every day, even when on medication said he shouldn’t, and would drive drunk), and my dad had a rough relationship with his father due to alcoholism. In fact, alcoholism seems to run in my family.

All in all, I accept that people can have a healthy relationship with alcohol, but I’ve seen too much bad to have any interest in drinking more than I already do.

Nauraushaun > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 22:59

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You’re right. We should probably abolish alcohol, it doesn’t really do us any favors despite what we think. As a species we’d be better off without it.

That said, I drink quite a bit. I don’t practise what I preach. I admire you for saying it though.

PushToStart > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:00

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Everything in moderation. I get what you're saying, and it's a totally valid and respectable opinion. Maybe drinking just isn't your thing, and that's 100% fine. I enjoy it from time to time because it can be enjoyable given the right circumstances. But like you say, there are people out there that do it way too much- not only is it unsafe but it's very expensive, and that is what I don't understand. How some people go that far, and then it ends up being an addiction. It's sad, but many things are.

Nibby > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 01/07/2016 at 23:00

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Sorry about your uncle and brother.

I think some people see it as a way of coping or avoiding their problem(s) and some also truly believe they NEED the company of others to have fun... and alcohol “helps” them with social awkwardness. I’m not exactly sure though...

Nibby > CB 01/07/2016 at 23:01

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Sorry about your step-dad and grandfather. But you seem to drink responsibly. That’s the best way to drink.

Nibby > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 01/07/2016 at 23:01

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Good!

Nibby > Nauraushaun 01/07/2016 at 23:02

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Thanks

Nibby > PushToStart 01/07/2016 at 23:03

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Meant to put the phrase “everything in moderation” in there. 100% agree with your post.

Also, yeah... think of all the money you save that could be used for car parts!

shop-teacher > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:03

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I also don’t drink, and I never have. I have no interest in it, and have also witnessed the carnage it can leave behind.

I don’t have quite as strong of feelings as you do. I don’t see anything wrong with getting a bit drunk if done safely. Watching people get plastered is no fun though, and babysitting their drunken asses just flat out sucks.

CB > Nauraushaun 01/07/2016 at 23:04

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Abolishing alcohol would probably not go well (hell, look at Prohibition and the current war on drugs). And teaching people to “just say no” doesn’t seem to work. I think teaching people when they’re younger how to drink responsibly would be better than shipping them off to college and university with no prior experience.

Nibby > shop-teacher 01/07/2016 at 23:08

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Amen, brother

Amoore100 > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:10

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Completely agree. I don’t drink myself obviously because I’m underage, but my parents often have a glass of red wine with dinner simply as a flavor pairing and nothing more. Occasionally they will offer me some, citing that the main cause of alcoholism is the mystique that surrounds it leading to overconsumption. I myself can see why people would think it a good pairing to some foods, but I can’t stand the bitterness and burning both during and after just one sip, so I will gladly say that in the future I do not plan on drinking excessively, if at all.

Nibby > Amoore100 01/07/2016 at 23:11

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That’s a good attitude to have. Just stick to your foundation and beliefs and you’ll be fine. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

SVTyler > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:13

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I don’t drink and refuse to ever start or even try alcohol (for personal reasons I’d rather not get into) but I’ll tolerate being around it as long as people don’t go overboard. Problem is, it’s college; moderation isn’t a thing. I’ve seen the most brilliant people I’ve ever met in my life (physics, engineering, math majors with full rides and 4.0’s) reduced to staggering, drooling zombies, puking all over themselves after spending six hours at a house party with astonishing regularity and it honestly just disgusts me.

I’m a shy, introverted person by nature so I get pitched on the whole ‘alcohol as a social lubricant’ argument regularly and I can see the appeal for people like me who otherwise would just retreat further into their shell, but it seems like the people making the argument don’t use it to loosen up, they abuse it just as badly as hardcore drug addicts use heroin or coke or whatever.

Worse still, it seems like in college you can’t hang out with anyone without alcohol being present. Like, I can’t just text people and try to plan something without having them start crowdsourcing money to make a trip to the liquor store beforehand. It’s like they literally can’t do anything social without it. And it’s not just the friends I’ve already made, it’s literally anyone you try to make friends with or anything new you try and join. I almost joined our school’s official car club, until I noticed the sign-up sheet for the introductory cookout had more alcohol on the list than food.

And I think the most galling thing is how people trivialize heavy alcohol consumption. “You’re not an alcoholic til you graduate hurrdurrdurr”, or laughing off how they got black-out drunk for the third time that week and it’s only Thursday. I need two hands to count the number of close family members who have had severe alcohol issues, so seeing people play off what has ruined or taken the lives of people very important to me is just infuriating.

Of course you can’t mention any thoughts like these without people thinking you’re a weirdo or interrogating you on why you feel this way. People normally accept my decision as well, but it seems like I always have to justify it with a 1000 word essay before they back off, “I just don’t want to” isn’t a good enough reason. I stopped going to parties spring semester of my freshman year just to avoid those conversations.

Finally, as a sober person you have all your idiot drunk friends thinking they can rely on you to take care of them like they’re a bunch of fucking children. Me and buddy went to a music festival in France and it nearly ruined our friendship because he spent the entire weekend (from 10am-1am in the morning every day) getting absolutely shit-faced, leaving me to be the ‘adult’ trying to organize travel and logistics in a foreign country on an extremely tight deadline. While obviously not as severe, I’ll still get people texting me at 1am on school nights asking if I’m at work (which is next to their favorite bar) and ask if they can hitch a ride home.

I think it’s just a bad and unhealthy way of dealing with stress... or celebrating a special event/achievement. If you need alcohol to have fun/fit in/make friends/feel better about yourself, that seems very shallow.

And this. So much this.

/rant but sorry I’ve never had anywhere to say this and it just feels great to vent.

Milky > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:14

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Pictured Nibby:

I have a friend that doesn’t drink and no one pressures him to drink, hell my last EX didn't drink. That being said I drink every weekend, shits fun fam.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:17

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I like drinking every now and then. A cold one after a long day at work or going out with a friend and washing down greasy wings... I enjoy it very much.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:21

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Teen drinking is very bad.

Yo, I got a fake ID though!

(props to anyone who gets this reference)

Nibby > SVTyler 01/07/2016 at 23:23

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Love that you chimed in. Thanks a lot for sharing your experiences. I definitely had my fair share of troubles making friends in undergrad (especially in New York City where there are clubs and bars RAMPANT and being an art major, that’s literally all they want to do).

And 100% accurate about when you talk to others about your opinion on drinking... They feel uncomfortable and almost as if you’re judging them (even if you’re not or don’t mean it that way) so they know “ok, don’t invite him to our parties.”

There was a classmate of mine in high school, super smart and bright. She’s doing well for herself now, but I always thought of her to be your picture-perfect student. Volunteers, gets very good grades, smart, hard worker, etc. We talked a lot and helped each other with homework + studying all the time in 11th + 12th grade (this is going back 7-9 years ago). I asked her one day if she drank alcohol and she flat out said no, that’s ridiculous I would even ask her that. She knew very well that I didn’t and would never.

Then one day in 12th grade she was talking to me and someone else about the jello shots she had over the weekend. I was in complete shock and disappointment. I didn’t really keep in touch with her after high school but she did one day text me that she was really proud of me that I had so many issues with people in high school (people saying racist stuff to me, not fitting in, etc.) and that I never did any drugs or smoked or drank alcohol. Turned out she thought of me cause someone who lived on her floor in ehr dorm died of alcohol poisoning and he was having a hard time adjusting.

Nibby > Milky 01/07/2016 at 23:23

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That picture is quite accurate.

Nauraushaun > CB 01/07/2016 at 23:24

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Yeah I agree. It’s certainly not as simple as just doing it. It’s so, so deeply ingrained in our society. It’s been a staple of our society for hundreds (thousands?) of years.

But I think if we could pull it off, things would be better.

Nibby > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 01/07/2016 at 23:24

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Agreed. Even people who are of age and asked me to buy them food and a drink, I tell them “I’ll help out for food but I refuse to ever spend any money on alcohol.”

TheJWT > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:24

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I’m the same way, though I don’t really have one strong position on why. I guess I’m lucky in that it hasn’t really affected my life, but I fully understand how it can impact the lives of others.

Honestly if I really think about it, it comes down to not wanting to be associated with college drinking culture. I think it’s immature and I want absolutely no part of it.

Nibby > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/07/2016 at 23:25

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Yeah, in moderation is fine. Not that it is my place, but I have no issues with what you stated.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:28

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Just remember for all the drunk drivers or liver cancer or date rapes you hear, consider how many times drinking alcohol turns out perfectly fine.

Nibby > TheJWT 01/07/2016 at 23:28

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Agreed. One of my close friends, she definitely likes that sort of thing. I want to talk to her about it cause I really don’t want anything bad to happen to her.

Chariotoflove > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:29

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Alcohol is a food stuff that your body is designed to use for fuel, but like many other things, excess is toxic. The key thing to look at with alcohol use is “what is it being used for?”

When I go to a party or dinner, I don’t drink a wine or beer just because it’s wine or beer. I’ll drink one if it’s a really good selection. If I don’t like the choice, I’ll have a soda or water. The kind of drinking you describe, Nibbly, is a demonstration of people using alcohol for the wrong reasons, analogous to the way many people abuse other foods to satisfy some emotional need. If your goal is abuse from the outset, excess will be the inescapable outcome.

My family is Italian, and alcohol is a part of our family meals when we gather. My parents even make their own wine. So my job as a parent is to raise my child to understand the proper place for alcohol. I’m hoping my background as a biochemist and my wife’s as a pediatrician help give me credibility in that effort.

Nibby > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/07/2016 at 23:29

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Yeah I get that. But I think it’s just much safer to avoid drinking excessively and those things would not happen as frequently.

Nibby > Chariotoflove 01/07/2016 at 23:32

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Thank you! This is an excellent point. Again, I have no issues with having a wine or two during dinner. It’s the alcohol abuse and idea that one is dependent on it for having fun or to be social that enrages me. That’s just absolutely pathetic.

It’s wonderful you’re teaching your kid(s) that alcohol in moderation is okay. I knew too many parents when I was in high school that didn’t care how much alcohol their kids were having.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:34

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Eh, there’s nothing that can be done, but thanks. There are more in my extended family, but they were the only two I care about. Drugs are even worse - my other brother hung himself while he was high. I miss that kid, but I had moved away about 7-8 months earlier and there was nothing I could do when I wasn’t there...

Perhaps it does help a bit for some, but it doesn’t really do anything for me. My social awkwardness is intrinsic.

I’m well known among all the heavy drinking friends and coworkers as a reliable DD because I very rarely drink anyhow (usually about once every 6-12 months, and never until drunk).

StoneCold > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:36

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I was very much an alcoholic and probably still am a binge drinker. Having no experience with it going to college did not help in the least, especially jumping right into hard liquor. It’s forever embarrassing to be the host for a friend’s birthday, and the birthday guy ends up having to decide whether he should start CPR on me. Although that type of drinking feels like eons ago, I still fall in with groups that want to see me schwasted. Apparently I’m a different person in some sort of ‘good’, outgoing way, when otherwise I’m reserved and quiet. It’s a mask I get to put on. “Oh, I said that? I was definitely drunk.”

This year I have goals, though.

Goals that surpass the short-term work-for-the-weekend.

I have certifications to get, a career to start, two Mustangs to finish, Opponauts to meet in August, a race team to help crew, a rally car to help prep/build. So many things!

So to throw that 90’s slogan out there, affording car things is going to be my anti-drug, my anti-alcohol.

TheJWT > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:37

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Yeah that was a huge reason why I didn’t want to go to a big state school. I visited Ohio University back when I was dating my ex, and drinking is literally the only thing to do there.

I’m only 20, but I’m extremely proud of what I’ve accomplished so far, both in school and in my multiple jobs. I don’t think I’d feel that way if I spent my weekends partying and drinking.

Agrajag > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:38

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I do drink, but I completely agree with your stance on getting drunk. I refuse to have anymore than one drink.

I get furious whenever someone uses the “you don’t truly know someone until you’ve seen them drunk” argument. Our self control is what makes us human. Losing or hindering that ability just brings us closer to animals.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:40

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My dad use to have a serious drinking problem. It nearly tore my family apart. He got help and has been pretty clean ever since. What happened scared me away from drinking. Through HS and college I’d always avoid parties or anything where I know people would get shit faced. Only recently do I drink, and thats only when I’m out with the girlfriend for dinner. One glass of red white with dinner is welcome, but not always

Nibby > TheJWT 01/07/2016 at 23:40

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Good on you. Focus on making yourself the best you can be

Nibby > StoneCold 01/07/2016 at 23:42

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Awesome. Hope you can achieve these goals. Also what year Mustangs?

SVTyler > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:42

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You’re welcome, it always feels like we’re in the minority here so it’s really nice to meet other people who think the same way. I remember seeing a few of your previous posts mentioning the problems you faced with classmates and co-workers and I imagine NYC didn’t help, sorry you had to deal with it :| My school is in a hick town in the middle of Indiana so the only real thing to do here is drink or take drugs, or that’s the excuse at least, so I kinda get what you’re talking about.

Your high school friend sounds very much like the ones I still hang out with; I’ve known many of those people I was referencing in my post since elementary school and we always promised that we wouldn’t drink or do drugs in high school and laughed at the dumbasses who did, yet here we are four years later and our groupchat is constant references to getting black-out drunk or dropping acid or smoking weed or whatever. Sounds like your friend had a bit of a realization and I hope she’s doing well regardless of the circumstances, maybe this will be a wake-up call for her.

Again, thanks for posting this, it’s nice to have a conversation with people without feeling judged. Alcohol and partying seems to be one of those black-and-white things where you either do it with the group or you’re a pariah if you don’t.

StoneCold > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:44

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I have a ‘66 289 3-speed convertible and a ‘ 70 302 automatic fastback/Sportsroof.

jariten1781 > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:49

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Grandpa drank to excess until he retired. Would be quite violent occasionally and all of my grandmother/my father/his siblings/me/my siblings felt the brunt of it. Light clicked around 65 and he quit.

Me, I had to make my own mistakes...which basically meant repeating the pattern. Was drinking a handle plus a day at my worst and have many 3-5 day blank spots in my life. Super high functioning so my job never knew though I pretty much ruined all my outside relationships...Wife left, I went to a pretty dark place...took a month off work (lots of leave time built up)...1st week and half or so I don’t remember...then eventually I woke up with jaundice and a bunch of bruises and figured I’d probably die, but I had to go to work (priorities!) in a couple weeks so I figured I’d stop drinking and hope the yellow skin went away, weird how minds work sometimes. Was sick with withdrawal(this is fucking awful...like the worst thing) for a few weeks but my liver did kick back on... Put myself in outpatient and began rebuilding.

Been about 2.5 years sober now, wife’s back, liver’s scarred, kept job...

For me, I can’t drink safely. That’s just a fact for me. Period. Full Stop. Cannot be Done. Leads fully to ruin.

I have no opinion on other people drinking. That’s their thing. My wife can get a glass of wine and drink 2/3s of it and just stop because she’s done. More power to her...I can’t.

I’m perfectly fine at a work function or wedding or whatever if people want to drink. Something I noticed after getting sober was that at all these events there was a large contingent of people that left after an hour or two while a smaller group stuck around and got shit faced. Had you asked me 5 years ago I would have sworn up and down that the vast vast majority was in the second group. I was wrong. I just hang with the first group now and book it after dinner/the main event completes. It’s fine and no one gives a shit.

I don’t hang out with drunk people. Don’t need to. Nobody, while drunk, does anything of importance.

I’m a much happier, richer, well slept, comfortable person after crawling out of that hole.

Nibby > SVTyler 01/07/2016 at 23:51

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I understand that 18-23 year olds would get bored in a town or place that does not have much to offer... but to depend on drinking is just pathetic.

People change over time, for better or worse. I don’t know really what happened to her since I last saw her 5 or 6 years ago. But I did hear recently she’s doing very well for herself in the business world.

Another eye-opener for me was when I was in 11th grade, naive and young...

I always thought my older cousins never drank and such, just like my parents told my sisters and I about not to drink. One day my sisters and I went to a cousin’s place for a pool party; most of the older cousins were there. And I saw a few of them enjoying beers. I was confused and disappointed. The people I looked up to were not who I thought they were. In a way, I felt betrayed.

Fast forward 8 years later to this year’s thanksgiving. These same cousins were drinking during Thanksgiving, but discretely... it’s just sad seeing a bunch of 30 and 40 year olds hiding their alcohol from their parents... even in their own house.

Nibby > StoneCold 01/07/2016 at 23:52

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SR20 whenever you have the time, please

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:54

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I feel pretty much the same way

Chariotoflove > Nibby 01/07/2016 at 23:55

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I had a friend in high school that told everyone he couldn’t drink because he was allergic to alcohol. Being in a medical family, I kinda knew that was probably bs given his particular ethnic/genetic background, but I didn’t call him on it. One day, he volunteered to me that he used the ruse to deflect the peer pressure to drink.

The key thing to note that’s upsetting about this is that he felt that pressure at all. It’s stupid, and we need to change that part of our culture for our kids. Many, many people have a drink to “relax” or to “loosen up” in social situations and never get into trouble with that. But, if that’s why they have that drink, then I say they’re already starting with the wrong thought process.

As an aside, I took a wines and spirits class in college that helped me really understand and appreciate the complexities of fermented and distilled beverages. Looking back, I think that was a real turning point in developing a healthy view of alcohol as an adult.

Nibby > jariten1781 01/07/2016 at 23:56

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This is an amazing story and I’m very happy that you were able to overcome your habit. Congrats and thanks a lot for sharing!

You’re spot on about the 2 group theory. I’ve never been even close to a situation like yours, but they say that you don’t know what you have until you’ve lost almost everything. It’s amazing you were able to get back what you have and enjoy a life that you cherish daily.

Nibby > Chariotoflove 01/07/2016 at 23:59

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There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a fine wine. There’s a thousand things wrong with being peer-pressured into drinking... why the hell is that even an acceptable thing? It happens so much with teenagers and college students. It’s become acceptable in culture.

Like you said, it’s really fucked up how people think it’s fine to pressure others into drinking in order to fit in or enjoy themselves in a social situation...

Just shows how shallow, meek, weak, and pathetic some people are.

Nibby > V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches 01/08/2016 at 00:01

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Amen, my friend

Nibby > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 01/08/2016 at 00:02

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Glad your father is doing well now. Sometimes you learn not just through your mistakes, but the mistakes of others and those who are close to you.

jariten1781 > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:07

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Always happy to chat about it. Keeping the past in the front of my mind is helpful for staying humble and grounded.

Appreciate the kind feedback.

StoneCold > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:08

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http://oppositelock.kinja.com/tag/horse-cent…

BlackberryShawtyHasAnE46 > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:09

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I mean some people drink. Some people don’t. It’s all good. As long as it doesn’t put others at risk or destroy your life it’s fine. My roommates all smoke weed. I don’t but I don’t have a problem with it.

I say this as I’m drinking a big glass of wine rn.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:10

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I like the intellectual Nibby. I shall send him your regards

Nibby > StoneCold 01/08/2016 at 00:12

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Ah, I remember seeing some of these posts from a while ago. Sweet. Keep us posted!

Vicente Esteve > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:17

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Don’t really have a problem with other people drinking around me, as in Mexico you will almost always be surrounded by them. I really dislike the taste of alcohol and feel like ruining a perfectly tasty drink by adding it is ridiculous. But, as funny as it sounds, what really convinces me to not drink is loosing my privilege to drive.

I waited 16 years to get my licence. My parents trust me with my own car. I can get home at 4, 5, 6 AM and both my father and mother will be calmly asleep since I have shown them that they can trust me. I am NOT loosing all these privileges and confidence to drink something that tastes roten.

Also, guys at my school leaving a party in the backseat of their moms minivan with both of their parents checking how drunk he is is the most pathetic spectacle i’ve seen.

SVTyler > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:20

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I definitely know what you’re talking about, to realize that your family isn’t who they thought they were. Alcohol has always kinda been a thing in my family (might explain the rampant abuse of it): college-age cousins bringing cases of beer to the lake for everyone to share, a bottle of Captain Morgan being passed around the campfire, my aunts bringing the new wines they found to Christmas, whatever, which is why I always respected the few family members who were responsible enough or had the willpower to abstain from drinking. Turns out every single one of them is a reformed alcoholic. You still respect them for being strong enough to stay sober, but it definitely changes your perception of them. You’re right, you’re kind of disappointed more than anything.

These same cousins were drinking during Thanksgiving, but discretely... it’s just sad seeing a bunch of 30 and 40 year olds hiding their alcohol from their parents... even in their own house.

Definitely is, though it makes you wonder why, as adults, they’re still doing that. I hate speculating but maybe your aunts and uncles did tell your cousins to not drink, but were so severe and militant about it that it had the opposite effect. Was kinda the same thing for my little brother. I don’t ever really plan on having kids but that was a big thing I learned from my parents, you have to give your kid the information and let them make the choice instead of just beating your views into their head. Easy to say as a non-parent, of course...

Slant6 > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:24

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I don’t plan on drinking ever. I’d much rather spend the money on car parts. I’m a freshman in college now and alcohol is everywhere. My friends think I’m a bit silly for pointing out to them that they need alcohol to have fun. The think I’m killing their fun.

I hate them all anyway, not related. I need better friends overall.

Rico > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:26

1

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying a fine wine but you said you felt disappointed and betrayed to see your older cousins drinking beers. To me it’s one and the same alcohol is alcohol and as long as it’s not in excess you shouldn’t feel disappointed in someone for having a beer or any spirits at all as some of the best people you have yet to meet will have had a beer or some form of alcohol.

Don’t paint everything with too broad a brush as it can slant your view of people and cause you to judge them unfairly. I know you wouldn’t appreciate it if people had a negative assumption about you based on something you considered to not be an issue.

Definitely agree on all your points about binge drinking, peer pressure and college culture. Part of that is American culture and our restrictions of needing to be 21 to drink. When something is so taboo and restricted people will try to skirt the rules at younger ages or once they become legal age GO NUTS. Unlike in other countries where alcohol isn’t a huge deal and legal age for drinking is younger you don’t see college kids blacking out left and right because it’s something that they’ve had access to for years and isn’t something taboo and new so no reason to go hard.

Also I hate dealing with drunk and incoherent people, as you said if you are drinking to get drunk you aren’t doing it right. As for me I love having a nice glass of bourbon while out to dinner with my girl and she’ll have a glass of wine, it’s great. And in the summer an ice cold Stella is heavenly.

Rico > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/08/2016 at 00:28

0

Like in church!

Nibby > SVTyler 01/08/2016 at 00:29

1

Agreed...

Have seen people I know whose parents have beaten their views into their heads and that completely backfired. Have also seen parents that are open with their children and their children come out to be fine and wonderful humans.

A family friend of mine is Bosnian, moved here to the US in the early 90s. He used to drink and party and whatnot, but he discovered Islam and converted. He quit drinking, married a religious Bosnian Muslim wife, and then moved here. He has 5 kids now, doing very well, and they’re honestly such a humble, loving family. Their eldest daughter is 17 and over the summer during Ramadan (which was really difficult for those who fast here in USA since it was very hot in the day and long hours)...

She would volunteer to go to her local mosque and start cooking for dozens and dozens of people around 1PM... (there were days where they had over 100 people and obviously she wasn’t cooking all by herself). Usually you had to break fast around 8:30PM. She’d serve people and then eat afterwards, then clean up and get home around 2AM. Wake up at 8AM the next day, fasting again, run errands for her family and younger siblings, etc. and then go to the mosque to cook. Repeat. No one told her to do this. She sacrificed her own time.

I love that family and I wish I knew more people like them.

Rico > CB 01/08/2016 at 00:30

2

That’s the issue. Lack of info. That’s like a high school teaching abstinence rather than sexual health education.

Nibby > Slant6 01/08/2016 at 00:31

0

Good on you, stick to your beliefs and don’t let others dissuade you.

It does sound like you should seek better friends... BELIEVE ME, I know how difficult that is to find your kind of people in college, especially when it seems everyone is out drinking and partying excessively. But there are ones like you and me around.

smobgirl > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:31

2

I like a drink with dinner (usually beer, sometimes red wine), and I’ll have a couple drinks if I’m out or at a party. I don’t mind being a little buzzed on occasion but I hate - HATE- feeling drunk. Fortunately I know where the line is and can keep on the right side.

Pretty sure the last time I got dumped it was because I don’t like to get wasted. I'm too old for that crap.

SVTyler > Slant6 01/08/2016 at 00:32

1

My friends think I’m a bit silly for pointing out to them that they need alcohol to have fun. The think I’m killing their fun.

“Bro, we don’t need alcohol, it just makes everything better! Bro, you’ll have so much better time if you drink a little! Bro, it’s just beer, it doesn’t even get you that drunk! Bro-”*repeat ad infinitum*

I’m in the same boat you are as a senior and even now it’s extremely hard to find people who don’t think like that. Wish I had some advice for finding better friends than you have, but honestly it’s a lot of trial and error; join clubs, study groups, whatever you can and eventually you should come across a few decent dudes.

Nibby > Rico 01/08/2016 at 00:32

1

That time with my cousins was really the first time I seen them drink and that was also almost 9 years ago. I’ve learned since then the differences between casually enjoying a drink and drinking to get drunk.

Rico > Amoore100 01/08/2016 at 00:33

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Your taste buds will mature. I wish you could come back to this post 10 years from now so you can smile.

Rico > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 01/08/2016 at 00:35

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Why did I read that line in jaekwons exact voice

Burn-Spaz1966-Burn > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:36

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American Medical Association 1 in 10 who drink Alcohol will become addicted to it.

Nibby > smobgirl 01/08/2016 at 00:37

1

Wow, you got dumped cause you don’t like getting drunk?

Sounds like that guy had his priorities in order. u_u

Slant6 > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:38

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Going back for the coming semester my goal is to make good friends that share my interests. Over break I hung out with my best friend from high school and remembered what it was like to have a great friend. Why should I settle for anything less?

Getting back to the alcohol discussion, in adition to not taking any lives, as enthusiasts what would we do if we lost our licenses? Driving is more or less my lively hood. Even if I wanted to participate in the drinking I don’t think I wood because the potential of loosing my license, if I get lucky (opposed to dying) is never worth it.

Nibby > Slant6 01/08/2016 at 00:40

0

Sex can wait. It has that “WOW” factor at first but then you realize it’s just like peeing but a bit more satisfying.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Rico 01/08/2016 at 00:40

1

Because you’re awesome.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:42

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Good on you for your decision. Chronic drinking isn’t exactly healthy, (although neither is eating meat daily, or sitting all day, or being out in the sun without protection) so you’re probably better off health-wise

My view goes as follows: Men have been binge drinking as a bonding ritual for thousands of years; it’s engrained in most cultures and I hope never becomes taboo. When you are getting drunk at a bar, you are echoing the actions of your ancesters all the way back to the dawn of civilization. There is something almost sacred in that (although kids these days passing out and puking in the streets is somewhat wanting in dignity). Though, when you remove the bonding part, it just becomes a hollow destructive act. A most pathetic habit.

Personally, I like bar nights with my friends, although I don’t really enjoy hangovers. I would rather be smoking weed than drinking, but the our laws force us to do that in secret. If only the fuckers in DC would legalize it already.

Slant6 > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:45

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That is useful advice.

But by get lucky I meant if I’m drinking and driving I get lucky by staying alive, although I loose my license.

smobgirl > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:46

1

Yeah, apparently having a non-judgmental designated driver wasn’t good enough. Who knew?

Rico > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:48

1

My fault man I didn’t realize how long ago. I’m about to go to sleep and decided to get some late night Oppo in! Overall I agree with your points, drunk people vomiting/passing out/acting aggressive/emotional or driving is all the worst. People who don’t understand moderation or their own limits are even more annoying.

That’s why I like to drink my liquor straight because once you start adding in sodas and juices and all kinds of extra shit you don’t know how much you are drinking until you go to stand up and the room starts moving too. I don’t have as many female friends as I used too (Thanks a lot GF/Obama!) I don't miss those days of helping make sure they didn't get wasted or babysitting them after the fact.

Your boy, BJR > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:50

22

Don’t know if I ever spilled out my story here, so here goes:

My name’s Benjamin, and I’m an alcoholic. By the grace of God and good sponsorship, I have a sober date of December 4th, 2014. I have a sponsor (someone in AA who holds me accountable) who I call every day, and he has a sponsor. I also have a home group (a meeting I attend no matter what every week, where I celebrate milestones and can get commitments such as speaking and making coffee for the meeting). Now I’m a textbook alcoholic, I could go more into what that means and such as described by the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (a great book if you’re trying to find out about what makes alcoholics tick or are trying to get sober yourself), but this post is about drinking, not what makes an alcoholic. Anyway, when I was a kid, I was always the weird one. I was more or less well liked by my peers, but I never really felt accepted or as though I belonged. My parents divorced when I was in middle school, and from 7th grade until senior year, it was just my mom and I scraping by on next to nothing. That’s not really important, what is is that no matter what, my mom would do what she could to provide for me, and I worked to cover the stuff she couldn’t. Although I never really fit in with any crowds, I had plenty of friends. My favorites were the heads. Once I learned that I could make all my insecurities go away via pot or alcohol, I was sold. In senior year, when my mom got married, it was great, as I now lived in a house that had luxuries, such as alcohol and places to hide away and get high. I’d say my substance abuse really took off at the end of junior year. I had a car, a great job, and hung out with the freshman and sophomore hippie and scene girls. They were cool because they were always able to get parties going due to being hot and having a large network of friends, and I was always invited due to a side buisness making moonshine and seeking pot my stepbrother, a friend, and I got started. Times were good. I had a sweet ride (2001 Olds Aurora V8 with all the toys and 2 10 inch kickers in the back), cool clothes (Ed Hardy, laugh, but that shit was the bomb at the jersey shore back in the late aughties), and tons of cash. Summers fade and I had to focus on getting into school and got busy so only really picked up in moderation until like 2 years ago. I was going through depression, with my childhood dog dying and my dad moving to Europe for work, and although the doctor gave me anti depressants, I remembered my old friends Al and Mary. I got fired from my job due to leaving in the middle of a shift to get drunk, and put the stuff down again knowing that I had no control over where, when, and how much I’d pick up again. That lasted all of 3 months. Those 3 months SUCKED. I had no way of getting out of my own head, and no program to show me how to live without them. I made a little money driving my stepsister from her job in Spring Lake to her apartment in Jackson, soon realizing she was 21 and instead of getting something worthless like money (lol) I could drive her in exchange for booze and weed. That day, coming home from her place I sparked up in the car and rear ended an old woman in a Lucerne Super. She didn’t call the cops and I guilted my dad (home on break from work) into paying the damages. After that, I decided that the worst that could happen did, and it wasn’t all that bad. That’s when my use EXPLODED. I got a job at a local pizzeria, and got the Mexicans who worked in the back to buy me booze every night in exchange for driving them to the liquor store after we closed. There wasn’t a day I didn’t spend high, drunk, or both after that. Life was good. Soon after, I turned 21. Then I started getting sloppy. Keeping a 12 pack of High Life and an eight and bowl in my truck for work, and a liter of jack in my dresser for breakfast and before bed, I loved it. Soon though, it became a chore. I couldn’t sleep more than 4 hours without getting stoned, couldn’t make it through the day without getting the shakes without drinking, and couldn’t throw my empties out, lest my mom catch me. I was skipping school, or showing up so drunk I couldn’t write. Id stop at the liquor store near school and smuggle 6 packs into my film appreciation class. I was failing everything. One snowy Tuesday night, after drinking half a skull of KAH Respado tequila, I went up to the garage attic, where I got so blasted I couldn’t move. I sat there shivering and puking, sure I was gonna die. Eventually, I got back inside, stripped naked, and passed out puking in the bathtub. I lasted a whole day without anything after that. About 2 weeks later, I was sitting in my truck at around 7 am, after mom went to work but before my stepdad woke up. But mom hadn’t gone to work yet that morning. In fact, she was just getting back from the gym halfway through my bowl. She caught me, smelling like booze and smoking pot for breakfast and I cried and told her I needed help. She found a list of local AA meetings, and told me to go that day or I couldn’t live at home anymore. I did, although I didn’t sober up for another week. I’d hit the liquor store on my way home. Idk what it was that got me to stop drinking at first, but I’m glad I did. It took me like 7 months to get a sponsor and home group, and I don’t reccomend only doing 1 AA meeting a week without a sponsor and home group, but that’s a story for another time.

Anyway, that's my speil.

Clown Shoe Pilot > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 00:54

4

you’re doing it wrong.

Rico > Your boy, BJR 01/08/2016 at 01:05

2

I don’t even know you that well outside of here and meeting you at the Oppo meet but man am I proud at what you were able to accomplish.

Biggus Dickus (RevsBro) > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 01:09

1

More power to you. I still drink but I like to think I keep it in control and don’t drink anywhere near what I used to. Second semester of my sophomore year was the peak of my drinking. I never was a drunk that others needed to take care of but I still drank in an irresponsible fashion. That semester, one of my roommates and I became mild party animals and would get blackout drunk seemingly every weekend. I think the night that help me scale back my drinking was the Halloween when I saved my roommate’s life when he started choking on his own puke. Thankfully, working weekends as a valet also helped ween me off of that path.

Just this night, I’m on the road in Chicago for work and after dinner I went to the bar with a couple of coworkers and some of them still seem to have the “I’m drinking to get drunk” mindset into their mid and late 20’s and it just pisses me off.

My rule now is, if I have to at all think about what I did last night, even if remember it completely, I had too much to drink. I’m definitely not a shining example, but I think I show some responsibility. Two of my younger cousins are just coming to the age where alcohol becomes an issue (Freshman in college and junior in high school) and both of them have explicitly said to me they are never going to drink. I always respond with: “Good, be proud of that and never let anyone give you shit for it.”

Your boy, BJR > Rico 01/08/2016 at 01:13

6

Thanks dude. People always tell me how “strong” and “brave” I am, but the way I see it, it was die a degenerate asshole or live and maybe stop being such a dick, and the choice was simple and easy lol.

Braniff747SP > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 01:38

0

Agreed... Wholeheartedly.

I’m an undergrad in college. People drink — I get it.

...but I don’t see the point in getting drunk. It’s a hedonistic activity with absolutely no benefits whatsoever. I’ll never understand it.

Braniff747SP > SVTyler 01/08/2016 at 01:40

2

I, too, am in college — your experience (and the way you approach the issue) is almost identical to mine.

Just... What’s the bloody point?

Braniff747SP > Slant6 01/08/2016 at 01:43

0

Forget car parts. I have enough with shelling out for books... Freshman year is fun, ain’t it?

66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash > Nibby 01/08/2016 at 02:25

1

This is actually something that has crossed my mind very recently, and after a minor incident at my close friends new years party (I’m close with their parents too and have seen them a few drinks in, and have dd’d their aunts a few times) I’m starting to have second thoughts on alcohol. My friend is in first year uni and the stories are... Excessive. I’ve only been drunk a few times, and none of those times have I needed it for awkwardness or anything like that, but it just plain makes you feel shitty afterwards. And my friends aunts were just saying today that they couldn’t actually go a full month sober, and reading these stories here opened my eyes even further on the rate of addiction and deaths, etc.

And I’m genuinely confused because I smoke weed. And of course, you need to be just as careful with any mind altering substance (prescription, daily use, etc.) but tbh unless I wanted to quit long term, I probably couldn’t go a month without it either. I’ve never really blacked out from being too high but I have felt mentally shitty from it (which I think I a problem with myself, rather than the weed, as I’ve gotten better and it hasn’t really happened recently), and I do believe in moderation, after smoking for maybe a year and a half now, I typically dont smoke socially and don’t have too much.

My point is is that weed should not be seen as good as most people see alcohol, but alcohol should be seen as (maybe even) worse than marijuana.

I totally respect anyone’s decision to stay sober, especially in a uni/college context however, it definitely is the better option. Thoughts?

Mike